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His Side with
Glenn Sacks Listener Letter |
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A Second
Wife Speaks Out
Margaret, a His Side listener, wrote
us this letter concerning our recent show,
First Wives vs. Second Wives. An
edited version of her letter is reprinted below.
Dear His Side,
I decided to
give you a few words from a "second" wife, who has also been a
first wife.
I work hard,
and I do mean work, to make sure my children from my first
marriage have a relationship with their father….as to
Lynne
Gold-Bikin’s remarks about what a second wife receives! No "in
the delivery room here," cause the only children we could have
had were twins lost as a direct stress from my hubby's ex. (And
my hubby WAS in the delivery room with each of the births of his
children by his first wife).
NO fur coat,
that’s for sure, because every penny we have goes to lawyers and
courts to force his ex-wife to turn the kids over for visits.
There was no first wife "putting him through school" because he
worked 13 hours a day so she could stay home with the kids.
What have I
gotten as a second wife? Besides a wonderful caring man who
loves our combined family deeply I have gotten:
Bills from
insurance about to bankrupt us because his "first wife" will not
make a simple phone call to coordinate benefits.
Continuous
grief caused by the first wife using the children as pawns and
denying visits though each and every penny of support has been
paid for years and insurance is always carried on the kids.
Four years of
pain to my family and husband and me when she denied visits
knowing we were out of money to fight her on it.
Many, many
trips to courts and police and school offices to defend his
position as the father of the kids.
A brief period
of happiness when the court finally found her in contempt and
visits were resumed, but in that year all she has done is
actively attempt to alienate the kids further.
I could go on
and on, but it all boils down to the same common sense thing.
It takes TWO to
make a baby, and if parents, married, divorced or separated
would stop acting like immature individuals and pay attention to
the fact that every child DESERVES to have BOTH parents involved
in their lives, then the lives of the kids would be so much
better.
It does not
matter if you are a "First Wife" or a "Second Wife", because if
you, for one second, put the feelings of the children involved
aside in an attempt to make a monetary gain, power play or feel
you are "owed" something for the marriage, you are going to hurt
your children beyond words.
Thanks,
Margaret S.
First and Second wife
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