A trial separation is a very good idea if you are not sure what to do next with your marriage. You feel unhappy, but you do not know if you want to end it all definitely or it is just a temporary crisis which is soluble and you need to go through this somehow. It is a time for both spouses to think about their marriage and make good decisions.
This break can help, yet it can also make the whole thing even worse. That is why, you should avoid certain things so as not to make more problems. Below you can find some marriage separation advice for men.
Do not do these:
- Go public. Have you heard how gossips are created? You tell somebody your story and eventually, this short and simple story becomes a good script for a whole TV series. Avoid it at all cost. People have always something to say, add and advise. Do you really need to be a “celebrity” in your neighborhood? Your wife will probably finally hear everything and it will heat up your conflict.
- Move out. If you do this, you automatically become the abandoner. Judges see such behavior as a standard act of giving up and a sign of your lost interest in family life. If you think that it will make everything easier, here is the truth: it will make it more difficult (especially to regain your possessions).
- Pay all the bills. If you want to be the good side and pay all the bills while you are living in a separate flat you rent, you may end up with trouble when it turns out that one of you decides for a divorce. Think: why would she need a job if you pay for everything? And then, such a situation will just make your wife case for alimony. What should you do then? Before you are in separation share the bills between you two and check if everything is paid.
- Date heavily. Remember that a trial separation is your time to think your marriage over. If you start dating with other women, to try them out (no matter how funny it sounds), you give a clear sign that you are not going to work on your present relationship. It is dangerous and may just end up with divorce (not really intended). You do not need more problems now. Do not be distracted, focus on organizing your life and solving what needs to be solved in the first place.
- Avoid necessary steps forward. Conflicts need to be solved as soon as it is possible. You do not need to be stuck in the separation for years (and keep paying bills). Making the first move is not easy, but it is necessary if we want to clarify the situation and simply move on. Spouses very often wait for the first move of their partner. In this way, the uncertainty lasts definitely too long.